Last night I took part in the masterclass with John Assaraf “Winning the game of Money” and while not much of the money bits stuck with me. There were a few beautiful points that struck me. I’ll share that with you.
John says that the 2 main functions of the brain are:
- Safety – physically and emotionally
- Conservation of energy
Sometimes we get stuck in life. We all do, like me stuck in a job I am unhappy in and we tend to keep repeating these patterns because we are not really mindful about what is going on. We also don’t really take action and just leave because as miserable as we are, it is comfortable here to repeat the same pattern and we don’t need to do anything out of the ordinary so we are conserving energy too! And obviously, we always say we are unhappy but we don’t do anything about it and that’s why we get stuck.
We get all motivated and we are going to do all these things but then nothing really happens so the brain gets bored and we stop trying which is great for the brain because we have now remained safe and we are conserving energy. We don’t have outside factors of what if this fails, what if I’m not good enough so we just stay inside the unhappy bubble.
We are all these acorns with the potential inside of us but we don’t do anything.
He explains that it takes 100 days to retrain the brain and he shared an awesome technique of the 4 R’s to help you along your way.
- Recognise: recognise what is going on in your life.
- Reframe: reframe what is happening and I’ll give you an example: In the past, I felt like I had to fix everything for everyone but that is not me anymore and I am learning how to put up boundaries. Reframe your beliefs and feelings so that the brain can learn that this isn’t you anymore.
- Release: Release what no longer serves you. Where is that belief coming from. I’ll give you another example: I believe that all rich people are selfish and would rather have someone else do things for them than do it themselves and they treat people like things (this is why I keep encountering these people and probably pushes money away from me because I can’t just use people like things.)
- Retrain: Retrain you brain by doing the above and stay focused because it takes 100 days for your brain to adopt your new belief.
Your implicit beliefs (those at the back that you’ve held since forever that are sort of hidden often) should not overpower your explicit beliefs (those that you believe you are more worthy of and what you want to achieve). You got to use that fear that most implicit beliefs are built of to fuel you and not let it stop you from doing something.
It’s no point that you are spiritually awesome but emotionally, mentally and physically you are rotten. All 4 levels must match and remember that mental is super important!
Your thoughts create your emotions and it’s our feelings that we ATTACH to those emotions that can be negative.
For me, it was sort of eye-opening. I stayed in my last job for over a year and really broke myself to make OTHER people happy and then I got another job and sort of fell into the same pattern because I am too comfortable to sort things out for other people – it’s the same pattern, just in another town.
And yes it is ALL me, no judgement. I see it now that I fell into the same pattern because I never BREAK the pattern.